I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
