I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
