Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
