Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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