Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
