you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My vagina is officially offended.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
