4 words: hood of his car
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
