Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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