So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize