What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to sanitize my soul.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
