whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
how drunk are you?
Several
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
