But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize