you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
