you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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