Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dear god my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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