Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize