i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
