a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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