Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
