so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
