Quick, to the slutcave!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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