I didn't shave. On purpose
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
