im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize