Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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