I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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