she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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