i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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