Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
