I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
