"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize