I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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