mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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