In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
COCAINE IS GR8
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
