so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
