he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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