i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
