I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
