Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
