so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
