Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
