According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
