i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
