just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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