That's intense
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
