Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
