It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize