i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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