At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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