I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
