Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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