Just cropdusted the office
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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