Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
