I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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