some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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