you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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