She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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