im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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