It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i've created a new STD.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
